


An Abundance of Pies

by silentghosts



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic), Hockey RPF
Genre: Bitty Bakes Pies, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentghosts/pseuds/silentghosts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Bitty is told not to bake pies for professional NHL players and One time they ask him to.</p><p>Alternatively - The story of how Bitty's pies become an NHL Urban Legend, start locker room fights and cause Patrick Kane to miss a perfectly good shot on goal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Abundance of Pies

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by - [This Tumblr Post](http://datneeks.tumblr.com/post/124473951731/holycowomgitsjenn-replied-to-your-post-in-which)

**1 // Providence Falconers**

 

 

The first time Bitty bakes pies for professional hockey players is during the Falconers training camp in September. He had driven down to spend the weekend at Jack’s on the Friday night and had promptly taken over the kitchen after Jack had confessed that he was worried about the guys not liking him.

“Jack if there is one thing I have learnt during my time at Samwell, apart from the fact that hockey boys are gross and need proper hygiene standards instilled in them from a younger age, it’s that y’all can and will fall in love with a pie”

For a minute Jack just stood in the middle of the kitchen his face screwed up in concentration as Bitty fought the urge to laugh at his poor confused Canadian face as he slyly tapped out a tweet on his phone.

“So I should make them pies?” he finally replied eyebrows still furrowed together.

“Well we should bake them some pies, but you should deliver them tomorrow. After practice because we both know what happens when D-men eat too much pie before training” Bitty’s stomach lurched at the thought, pie should never end up looking like that let alone on the ice.

“Only if we don’t do the maple crusted ones, that’s my pie. Eh?” As a smile stretched across Jack’s face Bitty made sure to lightly hip check him on the way to the baking cupboard.

“So what pies are we going to make Mr NHL player since apparently you have the monopoly on the maple ones, also be a darl’ and grab the flour. I swear this kitchen is set up for giants”

A deep chuckle could be heard from behind him as Eric scurried about pulling out an array of mixing bowls and baking pans from the cupboard and before long the sweet smell of award winning pies was filling Jack kitchen as the pair within moved in what to an outside observer would look like a perfectly choreographed dance of baking supplies and chirps that they had perfected throughout Jack's final year at Samwell.

It was 3 days after Bitty had sent Jack to practice with pie boxes piled high in his arm that he saw the email notification pop up on his phone during a lazy afternoon’s study at the kitchen table.

_Dear Mr Bittle,_

_I am contacting you today in regards to the pies you sent with Mr Zimmermann to training last Saturday. I’m sure as a NCAA hockey player you will understand that the players are required to uphold certain nutritional standards during the season and while I’m sure the nutritionist at your university allows some leeway in regards to things such baked goods, here in Providence we try and hold our players to a more professional standard. While what players consume in their own time is at their own discretion, we must request that you no longer send piles of pies 10 boxes high to team practices in the future._

_Thank you for your understanding_

_Aaron Quickly_

_Providence Falconers_

 

 

**2// NHL All Stars**

 

 

The next time Bitty bakes pies for professional hockey players was the night before that years NHL All Stars draft. After he received a frazzled phone call from Jack earlier in the week  which the former captain confessed that he was anxious about getting picked last in the draft and all but begged Eric to make bribery pies.

The fact that this was Jack’s first draft was the only reason Bitty could be found in the kitchen at one in the morning surrounded by enough pies to feed two teams worth of professional hockey players. And if he decided to hand deliver them to Boston where the weekend was being held it was because he didn’t trust express post services. Not because he wanted to hug the aforementioned former captain and wish him luck.

The smile on Jack’s face when he was picked 2nd by Jamie Benn made it worth it, almost more so than the phone call he received what must have been the second he stepped off camera.

“The Pies worked Bittle, I got second pick”

“I saw Jack, I was watching it at Shitty’s place. But Jamie Benn? You must be happy about that,” Eric chirped back down the phone, a grin pulling across his face as he removed himself from the room of noisy college boys and excused himself into the hallway.

“Well you know he is the Art Ross winner, and like for a big guy, he’s just, he’s kind of amazing” his voice dropped to a whisper as if his massive hockey crush on the guy was a secret.

“Honey I know you have a massive hockey crush on him, I watched the last game of regular season with you last year. Frankly I think the entirety of Samwell knows about it after that comment in The Daily”

“I don’t have a hockey crush on-” abruptly Jack stopped talking and the sounds of rough housing echoed through the phone as Bitty took the moment to sit down resting against the wall as a different voice gained control of the phone.

“You have to tell me who Zimmermann has a hockey crush on, also who is Zimmermann telling his hockey crushes to??”

“I would never betray a fellow Wellie like that, also um, Eric Bittle I played with him a College”

Suddenly a wall of noise hit Eric so loud that he had to pull the phone away from where he had been holding it cradled against his neck whoever was on the other end put it on loudspeaker and an assortment of yelling hockey players assaulted his ears.

_“Bittle? You’re the pie guy!”_

_“Give me back my phone”_

_“Your pies were fucking amazing man, like”_

_“My nutritionist hates you by the way- I blew out my diet plan so hard yesterday”_

Eventually the phone was returned to Jack, but not until Bitty had heard almost half the players attending the All Star Match compliment his baking (during which he blushed a lot), beg for recipes (which he had to decline) and announce that their nutritionist wasn’t going to be happy. By the end of the All Star Break Bitty had received 10 emails from different NHL teams asking him not to make their players pies during the season, and 3 text messages from Jordie Benn alone announcing that it wasn’t fair that he had to listen to Jamie and Tyler mooning over how amazing his pies were. He received his second email from Dallas management two days after he sent a small blueberry pie in the mail, this time informing him not to send pies to individual players’ residences as it was firstly against their diet plan as stipulated in the previous email and secondly was causing fights in the locker room.

 

 

**3// Chicago Blackhawks**

 

 

The third time Bitty bakes pies for professional hockey players was because Patrick Kane texted him. The other morning Bitty had woken up to a string of text messages from an unknown number on his phone starting off with _Who do I have to pay to get one of your pies_ followed by _srsly Jonny won’t shut up about them and I’m jealous, I think he might love your pies more than he loves me_ and _It’s Patrick Kane by the way_ , his scream may have woken up the frogs across the hall but Patrick Kane was jealous of his pies. A boy has a right to freak out over that.

After firing off a reply and adding the number to his contact list he quickly texted Jack his fingers fumbling over the keypad in excitement

_How did Patrick Kane get my number?_

_Also when do you play the Blackhawks? I have pies I need to deliver!!_

Apparently Jonathan Toews had texted Jack earlier in the week asking for Eric's number and that was how Jack assumed Kaner had gotten hold of it, and they were playing them in Providence the next weekend.

During the next week Bitty had managed to strike up a phone based relationship with his favourite winger, with what had started as nothing short of an interrogation of Kaners pie preferences, slowly dissolved into chirping and exchanging stories of the woes of being an under 5”10 hockey player. When the Falconers vs. Blackhawk game finally rolled around Bitty found himself standing in the back halls of the center after Jack helped him sneak in holding onto a small pile of mini pie boxes and two full sized ones as voices echoed down the concrete halls.

“Pat, you can’t just fucking leave in the middle of the pre game workshop because you got a fucking text message”

“Trust me when I say this will be worth it Johnny okay. Oh hey Bitty”

As the pair come to a stop in front of him Eric freezes, like logically he knew the guy he had been texting all week and had arranged to meet up and give pies to was Patrick Kane. But talking about meeting up with Patrick Kane in the back hallways of the rink had completely underprepared him for the reality of meeting Patrick Kane AND Jonathan Toews in the back hall ways of the ice rink to exchange pies.

“Um hi, wow, um here’s some pies for y’all” He stuttered, stumbling over the words and probably on his way to being the same colour as the Blackhawks jerseys the pair were usually donned in. “I um made you an apple one because you mentioned you liked them, and um a pecan one for Toews since he apparently loves them more than you. But there are also a bunch of different flavoured mini pies in there that you can share with the rest of y’alls team”

Before Bitty could even blink the pie boxes were out of his arms and in their place was a smiling Patrick Kane.

“Bitty you’re my new favourite, Tazer remind me to tell all the rookies that they have all been replaced until they bring me pies” He laughed squeezing Eric even tighter before finally letting go leaving Bitty there still stunned against the wall.

“Thanks Eric, but Pat and I do need to go now, since he all but dragged me away from Q going over the plays for tonight.” Johnny apologised from where he was standing behind Patrick with all the pie boxes in his arms. “Catch you after the game maybe?”

Five days later Bitty is just walking out of Founders after a particularly gruelling study session when his phone rings the name P Kane flashing across his screen.

“Hey Bitty, um Kaner here. I’m really sorry about this” his voice cut off as someone else took over the phone.

“Eric right?” the voice questioned as Bitty hummed a reply of agreement down the phone

“Hi, my names Andrea Rafferty I’m one of the nutritionists here at the Blackhawks”

Bitty barely suppressed a groan as he was yet again banned from making pies for any of the players from another club during the season.

 

 

**4// Las Vegas Aces**

 

 

The fourth time Bitty bakes pies for professional hockey players is when the Aces finally roll into town in March. Things between Jack and Parse had gotten a lot better once Kent had accepted that Jack wasn’t going to sign with the Aces and the pair had patched thing up when the Falconers had been on a road trip through Vegas earlier in the year.

Jack had decided to host a post game catch up at his apartment with a large number of the Falconers, Aces and a smattering of members from the SMH team so naturally Bitty bakes pies (and then makes the Falconers swear to secrecy because Aaron Quickly still gives him suspicious glances every time he see’s him around the arena like he is smuggling pies in under the cover of visiting Jack).

The night runs smoothly a healthy current of chirpy flowing around the dinner table until the mention of dessert to which the Samwell boys have no real reaction but the Falconers player perk up, eagerly awaiting getting another taste of the now forbidden pies and the Aces freeze looks of confusion crossing their face until one of the A’s speaks up.

“Are these, THE pies, like the ones that no one will stop talking about?” a look of wonderment on his face

“Wait, the pies from the All Stars match that I missed because of my wrist, THAT was you Jack? You made Eric make you bribery pies that are now banned from most NHL institutions” Kent laughed seemingly barely holding himself together and his eye flicked between Jack and Bitty.

“I will have you know my bribery pies not only got Jack drafted second, but also work on college professors for exclusive classes” Bitty beamed with pride, it was always lovely to know that people liked your pies. But people liking your pies, and your pies becoming something of an NHL urban legend are two completely different things. Needless to say the Aces in attendance went home with a small box of mini pies each and come Monday morning Eric had to add another name to the list of NHL teams at which his pies were banned.

 

 

**5// Team Canada**

 

 

The fifth time Bitty bakes pies for professional NHL players is after Jacks first season with the Falconers. They made it to the playoffs only to get knocked out in the second round, but the silver lining of the situation was that Jack had been selected in the Canadian Squad for the 2016 World Championship in Russia. His suitcase may have been half filled with pie boxes and the promise that even expensive international mail wouldn’t stop Eric from sending more when they made the playoffs.

It’s not until halfway through the first round that Jack manages to Skype him, however when he finally does the entirety of Team Canada does too. The Laptop must be set up on a desk and Bitty chuckles as twenty something Hockey players try to fit themselves into frame. The first few minutes are hectic as they all get used to the Internet lag and conversations cross into one another. Eric tries his hardest to listen as they take turns in retelling their first game against the US during which his pies were apparently the main subject of the on ice chirping.

 

_“Like I’m pretty sure Kaner missed that first shot because I decided to yell at him that I had one of your pies before the game right as he went for the puck”_

_“Quick looked like he was going to flatten me right there on the ice when I said he may have gotten the puck but he still hadn’t gotten a pie”_

An hour after the call ended Bitty’s phone buzzed with a text from Jack.

_When we make it to playoffs can you maybe send over two maple crusted ones, I mentioned them to Sid after the call tonight and he well asked if he could try one._

Of course the first time Jack had ever been willing to share one of ‘his’ maple crusted pies would be with Sidney Crosby after making the playoffs with Team Canada.

Three days after Team Canada arrived home Bitty received an email from Mario Lemieux that left him gaping at his computer screen for a good 5 minutes.

_Eric,_

_It was bad enough when I was hearing about your pies from the Zimmermanns, however in the past year it seems that in every conversation I have with anyone about this years NHL comes hand in hand with a tale about your pies. I know I turned them down when I was in town for Jack’s graduation and that the hockey gods are probably punishing me for this but I just got off a 2 hour long phone call with Sidney in which he spent 90% of the time not talking about his performance at Worlds but talking about how he broke his diet plan during the finals to eat a “fucking amazing maple crusted apple pie”._

_I would like to request two things of you Eric: Firstly if you are ever in Pittsburgh or Montreal at the same time I am can I please try a pie. Also please never send Sid pies during the season because I have never in all my years of knowing him seen him break his diet plan for anything less than his birthday or a Stanley Cup win and the fact that you have this type of power terrifies me._

_From_

_Mario_

 

 

**+1// Providence Falconers**

 

 

The first time Bitty bakes pies for a NHL team with the dietitian's approval is in Jack’s third year with the Falconers before Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final. Aaron had first mentioned it to him after they won the conference final while Bitty waited in the hall outside the dressing room for Jack to come out. At the time it had been a throwaway comment about how the guys would rather eat one of his pies than drown themselves in alcohol. However in the next few weeks that very idea had taken hold of the pair of them as they plotted and planned for the Stanley Cup Pie Surprise.

The plan was simple; over the past 3 years Bitty had gathered the knowledge in the off-season (and a few sneaky times during the actual season) of every player on the Falconers rosters favourite pie. On the morning of Game 6 minutes after Jack left the house the kitchen was filled with the scent of pie fillings as Bitty leapt from bowl to bowl expertly whipping up Apple, Blackberry, Blueberry and Pecan all at the same time, with the fillings for Rhubarb, Cherry and Raspberry all having been made the night before when Jack had gone out for a pre game meal with the team.

6 hours later and Bitty was found actually smuggling pies into the Falconers rink under the watchful gaze of Aaron, before sneaking past the locker room to wish Jack and the boys good luck and heading to find his place in the stands with an assortment of the old Samwell Team, Jack’s Parents and half of the 91” Penguins team.

3 hours later Jack scores what would become the game-winning goal in the final minute of regulation time.

1 hour later and the team descend on the dressing room, Jack trailing in off the ice looking tired and proud with Bitty by side, the C on his chest standing out against the blue of his jersey and the Stanley Cup in his arms when a chorus of gasps echoed from the dressing room out into the hallway.

_“Are these?”_

_“It’s even mixed berry”_

_“There is a fucking pastry Stanley Cup on this”_

_“PIES”_

Walking into the dressing room Bitty finally understood the fuss, as it was Jack’s turn to gasp at the sight. In each of their stalls alongside the bottles of Champagne was a pie that he spent all morning baking. Glancing around the room, several players were already sitting in their stalls, grins stretched wide across their faces as they dug into their favourite pies.

 

A bump of something metal against his arm bought his attention back to Jack, his eyes still wide and glistening like they had been since that final goal went in.

“Did you do all this? Even after Aaron has told you numerous times not to?”

“They asked me to Jack, now go eat you Maple Crusted Stanley Cup and Celebrate with your boys”

The next morning if you were to turn to Page 3 of the Providence Tribute you would have seen the following headline.

STANLEY CUP WINNING PROVIDENCE FALCONERS CELEBRATE THE WIN WITH STANLEY CUP PIES

Bitty could say he didn’t have it framed on his desk, but that would be lying.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me over on [Tumblr](http://jlzimmermann.tumblr.com)


End file.
